Only God knows when.......

Hey there! So, those of you whom really know me, know that its very rare to see me soooooo negative! Trust me when i say, I'm trying so hard with all of my might not to be! My last post was just a little too happy go lucky! Considering all of our ducks were not "in a row" like we had thought. So instead of our December 7th as our ivf date, we are looking more like February i believe! Now don't get me wrong, that is still very soon.....for anyone else.....but as for me...ughhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Seriously! I am waiting even more! So, i did have a Lil.....break down... OK maybe a big one! But, wouldn't you after waiting that long? 4 and a half years....but who's counting! okay, so now that I'm done with my tantrum ya know the count down chains till Christmas that we made as kids? Yep, I made that puppy with felicity to give me a lil something to be positive about! It will be a count down until the ivf! Kind of fun for everyone! Mattix is so excited to count down with me! I am pretty blessed! I do have the most amazing lil man in the world! Proud mommy moment! His conference with his teacher went AMAZING!!!!!! That's right! I knew he is something special! Also, i explained to mattix that we were getting close to the ivf and that mommy might be sick. He asked a lot of questions, which i love! He was too sweet and asked if he could name the baby and pick out its first Halloween costume! Ummmmmm duh! I love that he wants to be sooooo involved! He told me he only wants a brother though.....I'll see what i can do.. ha ha!  So, lets hope for that February date, or sooner! Also, I really want to Thank everyone who commented on my post the other day about mattix not being an only child any more! I didn't realize that I would be giving him a best friend for life! Trust me, I have two sisters! It might not always be roses but I do always know, that we will ALWAYS be there for each other no matter what! So, Thank you so much for all the positive thoughts and encouragement! I do Have faith in God that he will bless us with more lil babies soon! He already gave me the most amazing blessing ever MATTIX!!!!! I cant say it enough! I love being his mom! Any positive thoughts and help would be LOVED by me! So, until i have more news....still waiting for baby Flint! xoxo

here we goooooo...........

hi everyone! I know that it has been awhile since my last post! We have been busy bees!  As of right now, we have our IVF date set for December 7! eeeekkkkkk! So there are many exciting things about this date! For one, its my hubbys birthday and secondly, we found out that mattix was a boy 7 years ago for jds birthday! So, i really hope that jds birthday brings lots of luck! Many of you may not know all the ins and outs of this whole process, but I'm learning as i go. Yesterday i had a water sonogram they explained to me that since i had the hsg testing that this would be a breeze. Now i had an hsg test about a year ago, this test is a dye pushed through your tubes to make sure that they are open. I didn't hurt too bad and only gave me a small amount of discomfort. Yes, i was very nervous going in yesterday. Not only am i starting everything, i am also taking time away from mattix. For those of you that really know me, this is very stressful! Mattix is everything to me and i love every second of being his mommy! Well, here we go. Into the room for my water sonogram.....easy peasy.........UGHHHHHHHH! Not! This was more painful that i thought! I would describe it as having contractions for an hour plus after, with no baby after the pain......All i can say is i hope this baby knows how badly we want him/her! But on a good note, they said my tubes look good and we are ready to go forward! Now, i start my inject ables and all my other meds to get me all ready to give our soon to be baby a nice home for 9 months! Inject ables raise a lil bit of a problem considering i pass out when i see needles.....sooooooo, my amazing friend felicity ( love her) Has agreed to give me my shots when jd isn't home to do so. I do have to say that Felicity and Jd have really been my rocks through all of this! I don't know what i would do without their love and endless support! Any words of wisdom? I'm open to hear of any help! Here we gooo........ until my next post, still waiting for baby flint! xoxo

maybe baby!

ok, I know it has been awhile everyone! sorry!!!! But we have been busy lil bees! So, hoping to get an appointment in the nest two weeks to hopefully set up our ivf!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEKKKKK! do i even have to tell you all how excited we are? When i say we.... i mean meeee! jd is being reasonable and not getting too excited ...yet. Me on the other hand...can barely fall asleep at night! Every symptom will be watched and get ready lincoln target.....im gonna need a truck load of pregnancy tests cuz i will be testing every time a have to pee! ha ha! probably true though! Jd and i want to thank eric and felicity for everything! They have been very amazing to us in sooo many ways! My friends Rose and Taryn did the arbonne party for the ivf this last week! It was soooo much fun! If anyone is ever looking to have a fun girls night, they are the girls to call! Both amazing women and hard working Mommy's! Well, Thank you to everyone for your amazing support and lets hope it works! I will be sure to update with our appointment and next step info! Very nervous! Any words of wisdom? Love you all! Still, wishing for baby Flint!

High Hopes

So... our appointment was this Tuesday! It was.....well... a lot to take in! One or two? When? Which meds?  plus a book of info and a lot of paper work to fill out...no doubt that we are ready. I'm just scared of all the meds and the option that baby may not stick! It's scary! My hopes are so high and as much as that worries hubby, my hopes are very high every month around period time! Trust me when you want more kids any symptom is suddenly a pregnancy symptom! I have a headache...i must be pregnant.....I'm a Lil nauseous today...yep I'm for sure pregnant! Every month i do that to myself and not to mention all the ovulation and pregnancy tests i take....i am keeping first response in business for sure!  So as far as the one or two, my doctor informed us of the split option... which means if i put one in it might turn to two, if i put in two it could turn to three or four. Don't get me wrong i really want more kids, I just want to be an adult about it and be fair. I'm not wanting to have 4 babies...at once! So what do you all think? One or two? That is one of our big questions! So, if all goes as planned jd and i are planning on doing the IVF this November. I'm very nervous. We had a talk with mattix about everything and let him know that we are here and that we might have a crazy month but if he ever feels sad or left out to talk with us! Jd and i are very "there" parents. We do not like missing anything! Every soccer game, sing along, class room helper...pretty much love watching my Lil baby grow! I am so proud of him. The last thing I want him to feel is less loved or left out! Any advice on this subject? We are trying and want to make sure that he knows and feels our love for him! Last but not least, The meds that i am supposed to me on are a hormonal roller coaster.....for pretty much for one month i am going to be a crazy woman....then hopefully a hormonal pregnant woman! :) Poor hubby! I do have to take a few shots....like 30 i believe...luckily if jd is at work i have two amazing ladies that offered to help with that one! ( thank you to both of you! ) I don't think i could do that without them! I must say....through this whole roller coaster our support team has been such a blessing and i am so happy and blessed to know such amazing, sweet, caring, and loving people! Thank you for all the love everyone! Seriously! Any advice or help please let me know? This is an overwhelming process and a long time coming! Excited to keep you all posted! Thank you again for everything! Love you all!xoxo still.......wishing for baby Flint! xoxo

come onnnn tuesday!

hi everyone! So we have an appointment this tuesday! I am hoping to set up our invitro process...get it going! I seriously have that on my mind all the time! After waiting for 4 years, i am so impatient.  Mattix is getting excited too! He says he wants to help with everything! its seriously so cute! I just love him! I hope that when i write next time ........tuesday.........That i will have a date set for our procedure! Also, my baby is going to start first grade next week....wahhhh wahhhhh! All day!!!! Im so sad! I cant believe how fast time goes! I love every moment that i spend with him! He is very precious to me! Ok, i hope to bring good news on my next blog post! still....wishing for baby Flint! xoxo

Positive changes!

So to start this all off! YAYYYYYY! yard sale was amazing! I had two of them and may do one more in a few weeks! Hubby and i worked it! ha ha! Mattix even had a lemonade stand! Soooooo cute! He did it with a friend and they had a blast! Whenever he offered lemonade to people and they said no, he would say well you can just have it for free.....what a lil business man.....ha ha! soft hearted lil guy! He even told me that he wanted to donate his lemonade money to the baby fund!...... I wanted to cry! He then realized that he wants a toy! it is the thought that counts! Love him so much! Also we have a dr apt in about a week! So excited for that! Maybe get things going and get a lil more info and what we have to do to get this lil baby of ours here! I just love being a mommy! Thank you again to everyone! All of the wonderful donations and help that we received have been amazing! Mattix and i were talking about baby names and i told him ones that jd and i picked. i said the name mason, he says....mom! i thought i put a stop to that name a long time ago! ha ha! He wants a say in this whole process! He is so very precious to me! Love him! Still waiting for baby Flint!!!!!!!

Yard sale!!!!!!

Yay! tomorrow is our big yard sale! It will be in auburn from 7-4! if anyone is interested in stopping by let me know!  Jd and i have received amazing donations from friends and family! Thank you so very much to everyone for the donations and also for being there for us!So, i hope for the best tomorrow! Can't wait to be that much closer to an IVF! Still....wishing for baby Flint! xoxo Baby Flint here we come!!!!!!!

God gave me you!

so, my son mattix asked me the other day why i can't have more babies? ( he has an idea of what we are doing) So, my response to him was " well, i asked god the same and i think he would say that he already gave me the most amazing child ever......how could he do it again?" Mattix just loved that and he agreed...ha ha! Even though i would love more children, i do count my every blessing and know how very lucky i am to be his mommy! Even when my emotions get the best of me or i feel sad about the baby process, i get the most amount joy when i can calm down and realize how blessed i am to be mattix's mommy! so.....Count your blessing.......still waiting for baby flint :)

maybe next week!

Okay, so we switched our appointment to another date. waiting on a new one. I hope its after the yard sale. That way i have one thing to work on at a time! ha ha! So excited our yard sale is in  ten days! I really hope its a success! Anything is helpful! Thank you again to everyone who has helped in any way! We are so blessed to have such amazing people in our lives! For now we are just working on the yard sale items and enjoying our mattix time! He told us that when we do get pregnant he wants to name his lil sister or brother........last time he picked batman and bat girl.......... well, I'm sure i can figure out how to incorporate his say in the name! ha ha! I just love him and how excited he is to be a big brother! My lil love bug! Jd and i both agreed on a middle name..........it will be Francis! It will carry on from my grandpa Stan who passed away and from my daddy! It is a very meaningful middle name! I know I'm getting excited here...but wouldn't you? okay! Thanks for all the help everyone! Lots of loves! still...... waiting for baby Flint! xoxo

ughhhh my emotions are getting the best of me!

so, today is becoming very emotional. the appt is coming up monday and im very nervous and excited to go. At the same time jd and i are trying to get a loan. thats very much a waiting game. we are going to apply next week and hope to get it. we will be adding our cars onto it so our payments dont change, so we can comfortably pay on it. so, yep that ups the amount. which in return may lower our chance. im so emotional today. i keep hearing well, now you know what you have to do, so start saving.......ughhhhhhhhh! 4 YEARS!!!!! now that i know i want to act on it. im so emotionally draained and i know only few people know how i feel. But when you have these issues and you get an answer after 4 years, wouldn't you want to go forward?!?! Then i hear, why dont you just pay everything off then try.........well, thats only a few years away in my mind but, something always comes up! cars break down, flood in your house......i could keep going! those are just a few things that have happened to us in the last two months. I know this is such a negative post but thats how im feeling today! I dont know what to do! Any ideas on good loans? Any ideas? im still doing the yard sale and my friend rose is putting on a donation arbonne party for me (very very sweet) no dates yet! i have to figure that out still! Ughhhhhh! still............wishing for baby Flint!

getting the details!

okay! so this monday we have an appointment to get the details about what all we have to do to prep for our IVF! might be pretty emotional but soooo needs to happen. I am so ready after 4 years to get movin! soon! I hope! I will keep you all posted on what they say.......hopefully its not too crazy or more expensive then we were informed. Our yard sale will be on July 28th in auburn at my parents house to help raise the money! if you have anything to donate to the yard sale please let me know! Thank you so much! still......wishing, for baby flint!

Welcome to Our Journey!

Let me start by telling you a little bit about our life. I am a mother of a beautiful 6 year old son named Mattix & the wife of an amazing man named JD. My son is from a previous relationship & the love of our life. JD & I love Mattix and would love to extend our family together. We have been actively trying to conceive for 4 years. After an unimaginable amount of testing & doctor visits, it was recommended we attempt an IUI procedure. We tried many medications & 5 IUI procedures without any luck. We were back to being tested like lab rats! Sadly we were informed that my husband has an untreatable motility complication. The doctors told us our chances of conceiving naturally are 2-5%. While this was devastating news for us, we still feel very blessed that our chance of extending our family through IVF is 85-90%. IVF is such a blessing for us but it will come at a cost. We are looking at $15,000 up front to begin to process. But you can't put a price on family! So here we are. We are very anxious & excited to hopefully start this journey soon & feel so blessed already from all the love & support!